I. Introduction
1. I’d like to thank all of you who have been praying for Dinah over the past four years. In the midst of her studies,trips to Spain,we appreciate all that this Body has done to encourage and support her.
2. I’m blessed to have a wife,son,and two daughters. On this mother’s day,I would like to focus this message towards the ladies here today. As we have studied through the various world religions in Sunday School, I have been struck by the unique blessings of what God has done in salvation,redemption,and in particular,the walls that have been broken down in regards to women.Biblical Christianity offers true freedom to women. We are one in Christ,and God doesn’t play favorites.
3. We will look at this multi-faceted work through the word “honor” and see how it is used in some of the Scriptures. Although the focus will be for the women,there will be plenty of application for all.
II. Honor defined
1. The Hebrew word for honor is kabod. It literally means heavy or weighty- akin to the meaning of glory. The more common meaning is “ to give weight to someone,to honor someone is to give weight,respect,and possibly authority,in one’s life,”
2. Practically speaking,honor is a heart attitude – it involves respect,courtesy,and reverence. One should display attention,and when appropriate,obedience. It is the opposite of thoughtlessness and neglect. To extend honor is to express value and worth.
Parents are honored through the obedience of their children,God is honored by our obedience to His revealed will.
III. Where does honor originate ?
The source of all honor is God,on the basis of his position as sovereign Creator and of His character as loving Father.(Baker Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology,Sam Hamstra,Jr.)
So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you,the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing. And greater works than these will he show him, so that you may marvel. 21 For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom he will. 22 The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, 23 that all may honor the Son, just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him.24 Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.
IV. What is man that You are mindful of him (us !) Psalm 8
1. God created man in the image of God- we have intrinsic meaning because we are God’s special creation. This reference refers to mankind- men and women.
2. Sin has separated us from God,each other,and ourselves. Rebellious hearts,fear,shame,and guilt,underlay our relationships and actions.
3. We were designed for dominion,honor,fellowship,peace,and fruitfulness.
V. The Fifth Commandment
Honor your father and your mother,that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
We are to teach our children from an early age to honor their parents. However,this verse,and the Ten Commandments were not written to five year olds. There is application here for all of us who have parents who are still alive.
1. We should honor God by honoring our parents- this includes moms- not just dads !!
But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents,for this is pleasing in the sight of God.I Timothy,5:4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”(this is the first commandment with a promise),3 “that it may go well with you and that you may livelong in the land.” Ephesians 6:2
2. Those of us who are grown are no longer under the authority of our parents. We are to love and to serve God according to our understanding of the Word of God. However,we can extend courtesy,understanding,and help to our parents,even if we are in disagreement on some issues. If there are irreconcilable differences let it be because they will not talk or have anything to do with us. We should never cut them out of our lives,abandon them,or ignore them.
VI. Husbands and wives
1. The classic wedding vows : Remember,the marriage covenant is witnessed not only by the people who were invited to the wedding,but by the Lord Himself. It is a covenant. The rope that was one strand is now two- and the strength of that rope by God’s grace will be strong enough to withstand the tugs and pulls of life.
“Do you promise to love her,and honor and cherish her ??
Based on I Peter 3:7,and Ephesians 5:28-29
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Husbands,do we recognize our wives worth? Do we place a high value on her? Does she know that you love her and cherish her?
Precept Austin – http://preceptaustin.org/1_peter_35-7.htm#3:7
Peter goes on in verse 7 to refer to the responsibilities of husbands. Do you notice that there is six times as much information given to wives here as there is to husbands-perhaps because it is six times more difficult for wives to live with their husbands than for husbands to live with their wives! He says,
You husbands likewise [Same conjunction. It is required of men too that they be submissive-not that they give in to the will of their wives, but that they give themselves up to their wives, which is the counterpart required of us as husbands-serving our wives], live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Two commands are given along with the reasons for them. The first is to live with your wife according to understanding, or, as it actually is stated in the Greek, “according to knowledge”–because she is the weaker vessel. The second is to honor her because you are joint-heirs of the grace of life. What does Peter’ mean, “Live with your wife according to knowledge?” I believe he is referring to the knowledge of the Scriptures, the knowledge of the truth. Because the measure of a man’s manhood is the degree to which he gives himself to knowing and obeying the Word of God. Most of us men, at one time or another, question our manhood. That is what drives us to take up underwater demolition when we are fifty, or something of that nature! There is probably nothing wrong with being a fifty-year-old frogman, but that in itself is never going to prove anything to you. It will not make a man of you. The measure of a man is the degree to which he knows and obeys the Word. That is true manhood.
If you want to see a man, look at Christ. There is One who acted in every situation as a man should act. He was compassionate when he should have been compassionate, firm when he should have been firm. He was in every circumstance a man–”a man for all seasons”–because he acted according to the will of God. That is what will make us a man-if we will act according to the truth. The thing which is most impressive to your wife is not that you can press a two-hundred-pound barbell, but that you act according to the truth. It shakes her more than anything else when you do not act according to the truth. That is what is wrong with the man in verse 1 who is disobedient to the Word. His wife is frightened: “What will he do to me and my family?” But the man of the Word will act as he should act in every circumstance. He will be wise, discerning, strong, compassionate; he will be all that she could ever desire.
Peter says he is to act according to knowledge because his wife is the weaker vessel–not weaker intellectually, nor even physically, necessarily. I am convinced that women are much better able to withstand pain, that they live longer, and have fewer heart attacks. They cannot run quite as fast as men, yet, but they are getting there! No, women are weaker vessels in the sense that they are more easily broken, more fragile. The pressures and responsibilities of life more easily crush them and drive them away from a place of confidence in God. Therefore a man who lives according to knowledge, instead of reacting in anger or hostility or bewilderment to his wife, will direct her back to the Word. He will, as Paul says, “wash her with the water of the Word.” Now, if you do not have a husband who does this, then God himself takes this place in your life. You need not get frightened. But the word addressed to us, men, is that we must take this responsibility in the home.
Secondly, the husband is to honor his wife as a fellow-heir of the grace of life. Honor has to do with courtesy, respect, politeness, kindness. These give security to wives–things we did almost instinctively when we were courting them, but which we have long since abandoned–the quiet acts of courtesy and love. Somerset Maugham’s mother was a very beautiful woman, and she was married to a little, ugly, gnome-like man. No one could understand why she ever married him. In one of his books Maugham quotes her as saying she did so because “he would never hurt me.” He was courteous and kind, and she responded to that.
What not to do !!!
J H Jowett…(1864-1923)
What are the lineaments of the ideal husband? “Dwell with your wives according to knowledge.” [Verse 7] How shall we describe this characteristic? Let us call it the atmosphere of reasonableness. “According to knowledge.” We may grasp its content by proclaiming its opposite: “Dwell with your wives according to ignorance. Just walk in blindness. Don’t look beyond your own desires. Let your vision be entirely introspective and microscopic. Never exercise your eyes in clear and comprehensive outlook. Dwell in ignorance!”
No, says the apostle, “dwell according to knowledge.” Keep your eyes open. Let reason be alert and active. Let all your behaviour be governed by a sweet reasonableness. Don’t let appetite determine a doing. Don’t let thy personal wish have the first and last word. Exalt thy reason! Give sovereignty to thy reason! Be thoughtful and unceasingly considerate. It is the absence of this prevailing spirit of reasonableness which has marred and murdered many a bright and fair-promising communion. “He is not really bad at heart, but he doesn’t think!” That is the fatal defect. He does not think! He dwells according to ignorance; his reason is asleep, and the beautiful, delicate tie of wedded fellowship is smitten, wounded, and eventually destroyed.
In other words,a man can have a far better marriage if he is not overly self occupied,prideful,and willing to die to self !
Husbands,we are called to honor our wives-
Honor (time) reflects a manifestation of esteem (the regard with which one is held), honor, reverence. A related word timios in 1 Peter 1:19 (note) is translated “precious.”
Time is a term used to describe the value of a precious stone. Thus, wives are to be treasured as one would treasure a precious stone (cp Pr 31:10, Pr 31:10KJV speaking of her worth). Husbands are to show their wives they are precious by spending time with them, talking with them, praying with them, protecting them (see 1Cor 13:7-see note on meaning of “bears all things”), loving them as Christ loved the church and even as we do our own bodies (Eph 5:25-note, Eph 5:28.
Christian husbands are to deem their helpmate whom God has given them as precious, and so are to treat them with honor. Christianity introduced chivalry into the relationship between men and women. In the Greek and Roman culture it was common for the husband to expect his wife to carry out the domestic duties, but not to enter into a true, intimate friendship with him. In contrast, the Christian husband is to love and respect his wife so his prayers won’t be impeded. Since his prayers would include petitions for her salvation, it’s important that he develop an intimate friendship with her.
3. Wives/women – joint heirs- all Christians regardless of sex,are heirs with Jesus Christ- in Christ,and partakers of a heavenly calling. There is no spiritual heirarchy as with Mormonism,Roman Catholicism,Islam.
Ray Pritchard observes that…
Peter closes with a strong and strange warning. This is the motivation for taking his words with utmost seriousness: “that your prayers be not hindered.” The word for “hindered” is a military term for an army digging a trench in a road to stop the enemy’s advance. It describes what Satan will do in your spiritual life. If husbands do not take this seriously, Satan will dig a trench and your prayers will never get through. We all know that automobile engines get out of whack if only one little piece malfunctions. Likewise, our bodies have one breakdown and we end up in the hospital. There is a delicate balance between the physical and the spiritual. A marriage that is out of tune emotionally or physically will soon be out of tune spiritually. To put it bluntly, you can’t ignore your wife and get through to God. The Almighty takes the side of the weaker vessel! When we are truly one with each other, then we are truly one with God.
This principle applies in a broader way to all our relationships. If we harbor bitterness or if we are unkind or if we gossip about others, if we get angry and stay angry, our prayers will not get through to God. You cannot say, “I hate you,” to a brother or sister in Christ, and then blithely say, “I love you so much, Lord.” Or to be more accurate, you can say those words, but you’re just lying to yourself. If your prayers seem dead, dull and ineffective, maybe it’s time to do a relational inventory. God has wired us so that there is a direct connection between the horizontal and the vertical. The way you treat others has a direct impact on how God responds to your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7 Unhindered Prayers)
VII. The Gospel and Honor
1. At the Fall,man disobeyed God.This led to the Fall,and to our fallen nature. Our sin nature is our foundational problem. Out of that flow some obvious “sin characteristics” that tend to dominate in cultures,and in individual lives. Adam and Eve ate of the fruit,knew what they had done was wrong (guilt),were afraid of God and His reaction (fear),and were ashamed (shame) of what they had done.
2.Roland Muller writes about this in his book The Messenger,The Message,The Community. He makes a number of great points,and deals quite a bit with honor,shame,and the Biblical response to people who live in cultures that have been strongly influenced by the honor/shame world view,especially in Islam.
3.Muller points us to a verse that he shared with a Muslim that pictures the gospel – Hannah sings a song to the Lord when the Lord allows her to have Samuel- part of it is -
He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princes
and inherit a seat of honor.
4. I Corinthians 1:26-31
26 For consider your calling, brothers:not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God,righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”
Many human beings seek honor. Power,worldly wisdom,position,fame,money,influence. In our own ways we want to be valued,respected and esteemed by others. The Pharisees in Jesus day often would pray and fast publicly in order to be noticed.
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, 2 “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, 3 so practice and observe whatever they tell you—but not what they do. For they preach, but do not practice. 4 They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear,and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. 5 They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long,6 and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues 7 and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others. 8 But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. 9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. 11 The greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
When Jesus went to the cross and suffered public shame,crucified as a common criminal for our sins,taking our place and becoming our substitute, he dealt with the sin issue,and he dealt with guilt,shame and fear.
In Christ we are forgiven,redeemed,made righteous,set apart for God’s use,and seated in the heavens with Christ. Now there is no need to seek honor,we have been honored.It is an honor to serve the Lord and whether we receive any honor from another human being is irrelevant.
5. There is a time for everything a time to serve,a time to learn,and the Lord is to be first and honored in all things,
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her,“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things,42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
But when the marriage feast of the Lamb occurs-
6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
8 it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure”—
for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.
God is worthy to receive glory and honor- He has done great and marvelous things. Miracles of grace – saving those who need a new heart. May we echo Paul’s statement in I Timothy 1:15-
15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. 17 To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.